May 31st, 2008 ~4:23pm
Every once in a while, this town can still collapse the socio-economic strata into a mishmash. I was going to say “of a bygone era” but I know that was never true. One of the things that first impressed me about the town was the level of integration between most of the classes due to sheer physical proximity: Everyone had to shop at the same stores, eat at the same restaurants, live in the same neighborhoods and walk the same streets.1 But given the recent buildup, even though the town has not physically grown outward, it has grown upward, reducing the sense of a level playing field: No one above or below.2
And so word3 came round that some schmuck had stolen Helmet John’s helmet: a brown, scuffed up helmet, held together with duct tape, spit and love. Soon enough, either someone gave him a new helmet or he dug deep into his handcart of suitcases, backpacks, duffel bags, shoe boxes and cardboard boxes and pulled out another one. Perhaps it was a prank or there is some underground helmet for cash market to feed some meth habit, but having marred something so iconic, you have to wonder what’s next?
- There is little option otherwise, since there are really only two or threes streets that can be walked with any interest [↩]
- Again, I wasn’t here in the 80’s and only have a bit of an inkling of how in the dumps this place and everyone in it was. [↩]
- I’m a bit disappointed that I didn’t read about this in The Daily A or find it the Astoria Regional Dispatch reports [↩]
He was given a replacement, an orangish-reddish one free of the extensive battle damage, wear, tear, stickers, other decorations and, we’re assuming, a slightly lower viral and bacterial count, by a kindly Commercial St. businessman. One can only hope the new one is as good as the missing one at keeping John’s head safe of all the dangerous invisible rays that needs protection from
My faith in humankind has taken another hit. Who would steal his helmet? I too would expect to see that on Astoria Dispatch- if my 2 yr old accidentally dialing 911 made it on there you’d think the helmet thing would be too.
What? You think John would snivel to the heat? HAH! John aint no snitch! This is street biz, homes, and it will get settled by John and his Possee street style. They dont need no stinkin’ cops sticking their big noses into their business. The Popo already been on HJ’s ass for having too many shopping carts. They told him he could only have one now, not the two he was operating with. You think the cops would actually try to find the missing helmet? No way! In fact, I wouldnt be surprised if the cops heisted it from him when he wasnt looking. They’d love to see John get zapped by the rays that the helmet protects him from
that’s horrible!!
and I disagree, I think all our streets are lovely adventures
Not to get all serious, but to dispel the myth; He wears the helmet because he is epileptic and he falls down and hurts himself and not because of the evil rays.
Jus sayin’
I’m curious as to how you know he is epileptic? Are you familiar with what other issues or ailments he has to deal with? Is anyone here familiar with him, his past and how he came to be Astoria’s iconic street person? Enquring minds want to know
you know, it never dawned on me until now that the lady who told me she used to be his caregiver for a while may have been yanking my chain, so really I take it back…I know nothing…maybe it is the evil rays.
John has never had a care giver of any gender, let alone a “lady”. According to family members, John worked for petroleum companies as a chemist and has worked in the Mid East, Africa, Asia as well as North America. He does not suffer from epilepsy and by his own admission the helmet is employed because of rays coming from the planet Neptune mess with his head.
he has family members here in town?
Yeah, his brother, Steve.
Or, as John calls him, “Little Stevie Wonder”
I, too, know of someone close to John that has said the same thing about the helmet (rays and avoidance of).
I was unaware that it had been stolen…not sure what the point was, but then…who would cut rings around trees to kill them so that their view would be improved…trees that did not belong to them and would cause damage to the homes they surround?
Evil lurks in many incarnations.
Beautiful first paragraph.
Who in their right mind would want to touch that helmet? I mean, John’s a nice guy and all, but not exactly the epitome of hygiene. He wore that helmet pretty regularly, and I can’t imagine it was anything other than filthy nasty.
Oh yeah, and he told me himself that he suffers from seizures and he wore a motorcycle helmet specifically because of the better protection from falls vs. a bicycle helmet.
It went something like this:
“Hey John, why don’t you wear a bike helmet? It would be a lot cooler in the sun.”
“Mumble mumble… wear this one… mumble… seizures… mumble… fall down… mumble mumble…”
“Ohh, so a bike helmet wouldn’t protect your chin and whatnot if you fell?”
“YEAH, and I, uh, mumble mumble mumble…”
It’s rather funny when you make fun of someone who is obviously quite intelligent. He has some problems, agreed. But I talk to him on a regular basis when he’s in town. At least he’s not begging for money, going to jail or bothering anyone. But for the grace of…. ther go I….
At whom are your comments aimed?